covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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