weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize