Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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