I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
