glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
