I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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