When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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