Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
