Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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