There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
