I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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