The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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