Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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