I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
