He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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