Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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