The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm like, not good at living.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
