Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
