Well apparently he's into motor boating.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
