Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
