Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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