Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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