Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
