guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
