I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
