I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
operation harelip BJ is a go
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
