just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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