I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
