Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
