I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
