M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
