We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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