Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
