wrigley field is MILF paradise
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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