yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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