This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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