we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
