that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
