Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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