Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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