Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
operation harelip BJ is a go
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Drunk is a universal language darling
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
