I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
