so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
