reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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