Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize