Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
