I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
