I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
