So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
