don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
