1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
